Being back in Germany has been the usual blend of good and bad. It's been good to see my friends again, start teaching again and be able to get back into a new routine. It's been hard because I always realise how much I miss all my friends and family in Canada when I say goodbye to them. This year I have been thinking a lot about why I am in Germany. It doesn't really make a lot of sense to me. I really wanted to be able to stay in Asia and it made economical sense for me to do so yet that is not how God worked things out. Instead I am here. I am not complaining because I do have a great job at a great school and generally I am quite happy here but I often wonder why. I suppose some things don't change.. even when one changes countries.
While talking with a friend the other day he said that he has lately been asking God why God has me overseas and not in Canada. I did kind of think that was a weird thing for him to pray about and I kind of question his motivation but that statment got me thinking as to why this is the path chosen for me. I wonder why it doesn't feel right for me to go home yet and I wonder when it will. I also wonder why I'm in Germany. What is the main reason God has me here? Maybe it is more about keeping me out of Canada and less about giving me some high calling here. Maybe this is just a training ground of sorts where I'm meant to build some serious disciplines into my life, distraction free and then when this contract is over I'll be a much more worthwhile person. I don't know. But the thing is, I don't have to know. This is my story but my story fits into a way bigger one and so in a way.. I can sit back and relax in that.
I was reading Psalm 146 this morning (I'm reading through the Psalms backwards this year for a change) and I was yet again struck by how God is our help and our source of hope and how He watches out for us continually. So what is my problem? Why spend so much time asking Why? There is a God who loves me and who will help me and give me hope.. I can't ask for anything more than that. I am truly blessed.
2 comments:
Thank you sweet friend. I needed to hear that today too. His plans are for His glory, yes, but also for OUR GOOD. He loves us more than we get or fathom. So resting is a good thing. I miss you too. :-)
Great thoughts.... We can always rest in Him Who holds the future in HIS hands.
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